This realization always hits me a little harder when my lady time of the month comes around. The week before the visit, I am usually an emotional mess. I flash back to the newborn days when just looking at your new baby can bring tears to your eyes. Suddenly, nothing that my more than terrible two year old does seems quite as naughty.
Last night we were laying in bed... Fat Dad has been working second shift so she is my new snuggle buddy (don't judge me, I like to snuggle)... Anyways, it had been one of those days. I was so ready for bed, and she was fighting her sleep. I finally got her to quit wiggling, and was saying my nightly thank yous, and BAM, it hits me that while I'm rushing her to sleep, my days of her being my snuggle bug are flying by.
Before I could stop it, I was sobbing and asking whoever is up there listening to me blabber about all the things I'm thankful for to please just make the time stop, or at least just slow down. Then I realized that while I was crying like a baby for something that is not even possible, my baby was laying right there next to me. I scooped her up, and held her as close as I could, and realized it's these little moments that normally pass us by that are the answer to my prayer.
The best part about my lady time is the crazy mood swings...insert sarcasm font here! So while I was a sobbing mess about my babies last night, tonight I really just wanted to be left alone... an almost impossible feat in this house. When JJ decided at 8ish that he was ready for bed, I was more than excited! I put a movie on Netflix for AL, and thought a night full of Mom time was in full swing. I was more than ready for a date night with my DVR.
Fifteen minutes later, both of my sweet little angels were bouncing on my lap. AL making elephant noises in my ear, and JJ mad that his sister "pushed" him off of the chair that he was already falling off of. Then he was going on about something I just didn't have it in me to care about. I told him that he was supposed sleeping and mommy was actually trying to watch a show that she liked. Then he turned into the cutest statue that could only come to life by being tickled...of course I tickled : )
I don't know why but both of them headed upstairs, and my lap went from being overflowing to empty. I sat for a minute, and while I should have been thrilled to be able to turn my attention back to my much neglected DVR, instead, my words from last night were ringing in my ears.
I paused my show and went up to find both of them in my bed. I jumped right in the middle, and snuggled both of them until they drifted off. Even the cat joined in on our snuggle action! I could have been the happiest mom in the whole wide world!
There will be many Saturday nights where all I have left is my DVR, and instead of them being on my lap, or snuggling in my bed, they will be off making their own bad decisions... of course I hope that they will make all the right decisions, but let's face it, part of growing up is making mistakes. I will be left with an empty lap, and a house full of empty beds, but I will have these memories to make me not quite so lonely... or mad when they come home past curfew : )